I remember asking God "why us". The first few times I went to church were hard for me. I had to hold the tears in because of course you don't want to start bawling in front of 200 other church members you hardly know.
Now sitting here a bit over a year later I can't believe how different I feel. I feel like God picked me to carry his angel. He needed me to do a task and I did it. I will never forget what happened. I have learned to live with it and be at peace with what happen. Lighting a single candle at church can bring more peace than I ever imagined.
We were on the fence about foster care around the time last summer when I got pregnant. We wanted to do it but worried about how hard it would be to say good bye to some of the children who would live with us. But after our loss we decided it was the right thing to do. We would consider adoption if a child needed a forever home.
We never imagined getting a call right before the New Year about taking in an infant. Not just any infant, a newborn. We waited it out a few days before baby was born. We met baby and cuddled her at the hospital. We got the call to pick her up from the hospital when she was just 5 days old.
We love this baby girl. We call her ours. We've cried in fear that she would have to leave us someday. We sing to her. We read to her. We hold her in the night when she is crying, We take her to the doctor. We do everything just as if she is ours. We've even asked God "Why us".
Really? Why us? How did we manage to get chosen to be her foster parents? How did we get so lucky?
As baby girl is crawling around the house, getting into everything she can reach we are so thankful it was us who got the call. We could not imagine her not being here. Every smile, every cry, every time she wakes in the night. We are here for her. I can not even put into words how much we love her.
Sometimes we don't always get the answers we are looking for when we ask "Why us". We just go on believing that this is God's plan.
We are forever grateful of God's plan!
