~Why Us~

A year ago I spent most of the month of August crying because I was sad. I cried for what I lost. I cried for what I didn't have. I forgot to look at all the wonderful blessings I had right in front of me. I prayed for more. I prayed for the baby that was so quickly taken from me. Before I even had a chance to carry him or her to term. Before I got to hold him or her. I often times dream it was a girl with curly red hair. Other times I just wonder if it was a boy or girl.

I remember asking God "why us". The first few times I went to church were hard for me. I had to hold the tears in because of course you don't want to start bawling in front of 200 other church members you hardly know.

Now sitting here a bit over a year later I can't believe how different I feel. I feel like God picked me to carry his angel. He needed me to do a task and I did it. I will never forget what happened. I have learned to live with it and be at peace with what happen. Lighting a single candle at church can bring more peace than I ever imagined.

We were on the fence about foster care around the time last summer when I got pregnant. We wanted to do it but worried about how hard it would be to say good bye to some of the children who would live with us. But after our loss we decided it was the right thing to do. We would consider adoption if a child needed a forever home.

We never imagined getting a call right before the New Year about taking in an infant. Not just any infant, a newborn. We waited it out a few days before baby was born. We met baby and cuddled her at the hospital. We got the call to pick her up from the hospital when she was just 5 days old.

We love this baby girl. We call her ours. We've cried in fear that she would have to leave us someday. We sing to her. We read to her. We hold her in the night when she is crying, We take her to the doctor. We do everything just as if she is ours. We've even asked God "Why us".

Really? Why us? How did we manage to get chosen to be her foster parents?  How did we get so lucky?

As baby girl is crawling around the house, getting into everything she can reach we are so thankful it was us who got the call. We could not imagine her not being here. Every smile, every cry, every time she wakes in the night. We are here for her. I can not even put into words how much we love her.

Sometimes we don't always get the answers we are looking for when we ask "Why us". We just go on believing that this is God's plan.

We are forever grateful of God's plan!

~It Sucks~

Today my husband got part of a weird thing on his face removed. Specialist is 95% sure it is skin cancer. Won't know for about 7-10 days. If it is the rest will have to be removed. He had a weird spot that looked like a scab. I kept telling him it was weird it wasn't healing. Finally he went for a regular physical and they sent him to a specialist today. I guess if you have to have cancer, skin cancer is the better one. Weird to even say that, nobody wants cancer. Cancer in g...eneral just sucks. I know you can get all types of cancer at any age but it sure makes you think about things. I always think your chances are higher as you get older. He is 9 years older than me. Those stupid things go threw your mind like who's going to mow the lawn and put the garbage out. Then you think how selfish to worry about those things. We have children who are still small.... praying this is not the start to many other health issues.

~updates~

Looks like its been a while since I last posted. We've been keeping busy here! There is always a to do list about a mile long. It always includes cleaning and laundry. We can't seem to get away from those two things.

We're still caring for the sweet foster care baby who came to our home in January! To think its been just a couple days shy of 5 months that she has been with us. We are truly blessed. Maddison just asked me yesterday "Why did they pick us when we already had so many kids"? Its hard to say but I wouldn't have it any other way. She is fitting in with our family so nicely. Right now things are moving slowly but we expect the outcome to be that she will need a permanent placement other than with her birth mom. Of course we have already agreed we'd gladly keep her.

 

In other news Maddison celebrated her birthday on March 17.

Her cake turned out just perfect!

It was yummy too.

 

Abby graduated the 5th grade.

Wow, next year she goes to the middle school.

~Birthdays~

Time to play catch up! You know life gets busy around here with 6 kids, one dog and 2 birds in the house. Oh plus a daycare full of kids during the day. I have had a full group of kids for a few weeks now. I was just asked to take on 2 more kids part-time. They will only be here during daycare hours and the county is allowing me to have the extra kids. I have watched them before and they are very well behaved kids. Keeps me busy though.

Since we have a March birthday coming up I figured I better post about the January and February ones we already had.

Ms. Abby turned 11 years old in January.

It was her golden birthday so we went for a gold and purple theme.

Jade turned 13 in February.

We now have a teenager in the house.

 

Funny how just over night they can learn everything there is to know!

~sleep~

We don't always get a lot of sleep around here. I am excited to report though that sweet little baby we are caring for slept 5.5 hours straight last night! She woke up and took a bottle and went right back to sleep for another 4 hours! We are making progress! She will be 2 months old on Saturday. Hard to believe. She is growing like a weed! I tried to put a sleeper on her last night that was size 3 months and it did not fit anymore. So maybe she will be really tall? We have no idea really what to expect. Kind of weird and kind of exciting all rolled into one.

~First Foster Child~

We've had our first little foster care child since January 12. Things have been going pretty good besides missing a little bit of sleep at night! She is fitting in very nicely and the kids love her.

~A long wait~

I was going about the normal routine one week ago today, Tuesday, December 30. I was getting the daycare kids ready for lunch and the phone rang. Of course I answered it. It was a Social Worker. She was asking me if we would be willing to take in a very young child. A newborn! I was a bit shocked so didn't really ask any questions. I said yes. She told me she was going to be out of the office for a few days with the New Years holiday coming up. She informed me that when baby arrives we would get a phone call from a Social Worker or Supervisor on call.

Of course I got excited after hanging up the phone. Later that night I made a trip to Walmart to get a few things that we would need. I purchased a couple bottles, diapers, sleepers, onesies, and a carseat.

Since then we have been waiting. We have been trying to pass the time. We have been trying not to get too overly excited. We have baked cookies. We have cleaned the house, twice. We've worked on fleece tie blankets. We started watching dumb shows on Netflix. We've waited long enough.

I called yesterday around 9am and left a message with the Social Worker. I simply asked if I should still be waiting or if plans have changed. I haven't received a call back yet. I sure hope to hear something today. I like to have a plan and right now I feel like there is no plan.

~A bit excited~

In mid October we inquired about a sibling group of 2. They are in another state. At that time I was worried we would not be considered because of our location but was told families in other states would be considered. Sometimes there are reasons why a child or children would need to stay in their current state.

I have been waiting to hear more on the sibling group. No emails came and their status had not changed on the site I found their information on. So last night I emailed the notifying party to see if there was more information we could get.

I already got an email back! Just getting a response back is huge. These social workers are so busy that they often times can't return all emails. I was super surprised to hear back so quickly.

This is what I was told:

Yes I have your home study and your family is on the list as a possible resource but right now the judge has ordered that we also prepare the girls for reunification with the father and still  pursue possible adoption resources just in case reunification does not take place. So I have been doing both and I am keeping you guys on the list of resources.

I know this doesn't mean I need to go out shopping for these children and it might not become more than we're a possibility. However, it does give us a little hope and we are excited our home study wasn't just tossed in the trash!

~Alayna Lee Agnes~

My sweet baby girl, Alayna Lee Agnes has turned 3 years old.

Makes me happy and sad all the same time.

She came into this world at just 8 pounds one ounce. Still a small little one about 28 pounds!

 

 

She loves to be silly and has the cutest laugh.

 

She loves her puppy Daisy and posing for pictures.

She loves Minnie Mouse, Strawberry Shortcake, purple, pink,

Let it go movie as she calls it (Frozen).

 

 

She favorite foods are gogurt, cheese, pizza,

and chocolate milk.

She loves candy, chocolate and other sweets too.

She is not a very good eater.

 

Of course she looks a lot like her big sister Maddison!

 

Alayna is 100% a daddy's girl but

no matter what she says she will always be my baby!

~Snowy day tidbits~

Not a lot to post except today we are getting our first real snow fall/ snow storm for the winter. I am sure it won't be the last. We went out to play at 9:15am! The kids would have really liked to gone out sooner but I made them eat breakfast first. How mean, right?!?!

Not much new on the adoption/ foster care issue. We did inquire 25 days ago about a young girl. I hadn't heard anything last week so I emailed the person in charge of the inquiry. He got back to me on Friday letting me know that because of the state where the girl is located they can not share information with me directly. They have to speak to our Social Worker first and she can then get in contact with Danny and I. Of course this stuff all takes time and Social Workers are always busy. I sent him the information for my worker and hope that I hear something, anything, soon. I know we need to trust in God's timing. This just takes so long. I read an article in our paper yesterday about a family near by who adopted 2 children a couple years ago and are now in the mists of adopting 2 more! So I know this does happen.

Mason our sweet boy who is full of energy is giving us a workout. He sure knows how to get the house wound up. He doing well in preschool. He gets on the bus with no problem. He gets off the bus giggling and will often times either lift up his shirt or yell "Underwear". I met with his team of teachers last week and he has met all the goals he had on his IEP. He was retested and no longer qualifies for an IEP! (they test children every 3 years and he had been tested when he was 2)

The big girls are doing well in school. Abby took a week to be lazy but picked back up and made up for it with 2 perfect spelling tests the last couple of week. She has learned how beneficial studying can be. I have learned to stay on her toes more. Maddison seems to have picked up on the spelling thing! She sure does not get that from her mom or dad. Jade had a report card last week and it was all A's and B's! She is getting ready to make pajama pants in sewing class.

Then there is our little Alayna. She has been busy with her friends as she calls them (daycare kids). She loves going for rides in her van. If you ask her what she wants for supper its always Pizza Ranch!

~Cherishing the moments~

Bedtime, or bednight as Mason would call it, has been tricky since he was about two years old. About the time he started sleeping in a bed rather than a crib. He would wake up about 3-5 times a night. Some nights were worse than others. He would often times kick and cry. Other times he would just toss and turn like he was uncomfortable. Thankfully as he has gotten older those 3-5 times have gotten to 0-1 times a night.

The thing is getting him to sleep is where we now struggle. We can pretty much bet money on the deal that once we say bedtime its another 30-40 minutes before he arrives to his bed. There are always those extra drinks, extra snacks, potty breaks, teeth brushing... all those things we already asked him to take care of. Sometimes he already did all that but insists on doing it all over again.

Once he finally lays down we spend about 2-3 minutes talking about the day. Then he has to have a story. Stories have to include transformers and there has to be fighting. I really wish I would have started writing these things down. Its not easy to come up with them at the last minute.

Tonight the story include Farmer Matt who called the transformers to take care of the farm animals because he had to go see Big Ted! While caring for the animals the bad transformers came and tried to steal the tractor. The transformers yelled at them and told them to leave. They started fighting. The chickens got out and fought the bad transformers and they ran away. Of course I told it more detail but who has fighting chickens anyways?

I have learned that the story has to be told for him to go to bed. Taking the story away because getting into bed takes too long only makes for a nightmare of a situation.

After the story is over I often times quietly pray to God that he helps Mason have more good days than bad. Other times I fall asleep!

I know there will be a day when Mason looks at me and tells me he is too old to have his mom lay with him.

Until then I am going to cherish these moments, even when there are struggles!

~We Wait~

Our home study was complete and emailed to California just in time to be reviewed for a sibling group. It was one boy and one girl. They are 3 and 4 years old. Sadly we have heard we were not a match at this time. A lot of it could be that we are not located in California and a family that inquired is located there and suitable for the children. I got myself to excited about these children and even had myself looking up prices for plane tickets to California. I know that trusting in God's plan is best and this just wasn't in his plans for us.

Things move slow, too slow for my likely. There are so many children out there that need homes. There are so many things to consider when placing these children. There are several sibling groups and single children that are to be placed with no other children because of their special needs. There are also some children who should be the youngest in the home based on their past or current needs. There are also children who need to stay in a certain state because they have family they can't live with but that they need to stay in contact with. There are many older children but we agreed that we do not want children older than our children are right now. We have learned that its tough on children if you change their birth order when adding a child to your home. Danny and I have agreed that Jade is always to be our oldest and Alayna should stay our youngest. We will consider a child younger than Alayna if we feel strongly that they would be a good fit for our family.

I am tying to stay hopeful that the right child is out there for us. We wait. I check the website daily to see if anything pops up. I check my email way too many times in a day. Sometimes I wonder if my phone even works because it never rings. One of these days though I know I will get that phone call or email.

Until then we wait.

~Wynn life book~

I have been working on a life book. I haven't ordered it yet but I think I am finished with it. Please tell me what you think! Click HERE to take a peak! If you are not familiar with what a life book is I can explain it. Its a simple book to show others a little bit about your life. This is ideal for children who might come into our home. We can share this with them before they come to stay with us. If I add anything to the book it would be a page with some photos of extended family like my siblings and our parents.

~Responses~

Sometimes when emailing people you don't get the full effect of their response as you might if you were talking to them in person. You can't see their facial expressions or hear their tone of voice. Maybe not a big deal if you are just talking about a new recipe or what you did over the weekend.

In my case I am stumped and wish I would have spoken in person with my social worker. I emailed her telling her that Danny and I inquired about a sibling group of two children. Honestly I don't know much about them. Its tricky how this works. They give you a quick narrative and small photo. They probably sugar coat it a bit and only tell you the really good stuff. That is why you inquire about them and wait for more information. Just because you inquire doesn't mean the child or children will soon become yours. Some things also vary by state. Certain states can share upfront some medical things and other states have privacy issues until you get approved to be shown the child's case.

Anyways, I told the Social Worker about our inquiry. She emailed me back and said, How exciting. I will hopefully get your home study typed up this week. Maybe I can set aside some time to get it done.

We can't do anything but sit here until our home study is typed up. Without it we can't share any of our information with other social workers. Its frustrating. Its kind of like playing a game when you are 3 years old and it seems like it takes forever to get around the circle for your turn again. I am not a huge fan of waiting for things I want.

Fast forward a few hours.... my phone rings. I answer. There is a lady on the other line from an adoption exchange program calling to tell me that yes indeed the children I inquired about are still available to be adopted, yes they can be adopted by a white couple in Minnesota. I responded by thanking her for the call. I asked what the next step was. Did you guess home study. If so you are right! I tell the lady our social worker is working on it and hopefully we can get it to her in time to be reviewed.

I email my social worker telling her the lady called me and as soon as I get the proper mailing address or fax information I would get it to her. She emails me back and says, I am concerned they would allow the children to be adopted out of state and worry they are not telling us something we should know. I feel because of their age they should be easy to place in their home state. Out of state placements can be tough.

Really? What happen to How exciting!

~A simple photo~

I took some photos of the kids.

Not as easy as it sounds.

My camera seems to be going down hill too.

I did get a few I like.

 

I keep going back to this photo.
Seems like there should be one more kid

standing in the back behind Alayna.

Just a weird empty spot.

 

The three big girls look happy.

Mason looks like a tough boy who doesn't want his picture taken.

Alayna looks like she is ready to get the heck out of the park.

And here it is. The Fab 5 at their finest!

This is truly what life is like in the Wynn house!

I love them all and wouldn't trade any of them.

~Mason's outfit~

Someone on our local garage sale site has this little outfit for sale. It reminded me of Mason and I just knew I had a photo. He had such a hard time leaving on the bus yesterday. He was crying and telling me he didn't want to go. I tried so hard not to cry. Then today it was the best day ever. He walked up to the steps of the bus and turned around and waved at me. Its so hard to make him go when he is having a bad day. I know though its good for both of us. His teachers are so wonderful. They let him bring his stuffed puppy to school so he has a comfort item. He calls the puppy Nacho. The bus aide who buckles the kids always greets both Mason and Nacho!

 

He is only about 3 weeks old in these two photos!

To think now he is 5.

Yikes, the time goes by way too fast.

~Registered and Dance~

I registered on Friday afternoon on a site for adopting children. There was a child I wanted to inquire about. So as quickly as I could I went through all the steps and got registered. I had to write a huge paper on who the Wynn's are. It was basically a shorter version of the home study that our Social Worker did. I had to include things like were Danny and I grew up, any siblings we have, favorite things to do alone and with the family, who our children are, what we do for a living. I could not include details of the children's actual birthdays (just how old) or the specifics of us being middle or upper class. So I did that and I also contacted our Social Worker to give her a heads up. Well already today just being a couple days later our information has been accepted. However the child I wanted to inquire about has had a change in status and his information is no longer available. Hopefully that means he has been matched with a family.


Maddison returned to dance class tonight. Alayna started her very first class. Jade also went back tonight (she's kind of too cool for a photo). We will see which of the three get to go back next week... Alayna cried most of the time if Danny or I weren't standing right next to her but she said she wants to go back. The teacher and I agreed we'd try it next week and see how it goes. Maddison was so crabby when we got home it was unbelievable. When I went to pick Jade up she snapped at me when I asked if she was almost done (gotta love the attitude of a 12 year old). So we will see. I don't think they realize how lucky they are that I make this work for them. 3 girls in dance is not really the cheapest thing. I feel though no matter how many kids we have they deserve to be in at least one thing so I make this work.

Maddison and Alayna

with the new bird Blueberry!

~Just nothing~

There really isn't anything to report. I suppose in a way that's good.

What is that saying? No news is good news.

~First Day of School Photos~

~Happy 5th Birthday~

5 years ago this sweet little boy came into the world.

He couldn't have made me more happy to be his momma!

 

2 years old!

Mason loves all puppies, transformers, trains, dinosaurs, and cars.

He is not a fan of the heat or long car rides.

Mason is our special little boy and we love him

 to the moon and back again!

 

Mason will go to a new preschool starting next week.

He will go 4 days a week in the afternoon.